Monday, October 10, 2005

Dating -- Why I Hate Being on the Market

I know all I've been writing about lately is dating, but to tell you the truth, I haven't really gone on any dates yet.

The ex and I went out for dinner last week. We had a nice time, but it is easy to see why we were never right for each other.

As far as the Internet Dating goes, it isn't going well. I had one guy, Art, who seemed interested. He e-mailed me like 4 times in one day, but we've not been able to go out and it's been over a week since we talked about. So, what's the problem?

Well, Art called me the first weekend and we played phone talk for two days. Finally, we end up talking for like 30 minutes on Sunday afternoon. I thought we came to a mutual agreement to go out the next weekend. However, he didn't call me until Thursday night at 11 p.m. I don't answer my phone after 10 p.m. unless it's an emergency. So, I call him back early on Friday evening. I basically didn't want to spend forever on the phone, so I said I was going over to a friend's house in a bit. He proceeds to hurry me off the phone, briskly saying he will call me back. He was rather short with me.

Saturday, I got sick and didn't answer my phone all weekend. I e-mail him Monday and then called him Tuesday night. Well, he thought I blew him off. He only took the free 3 day trial on, so he didn't get the e-mail. I tell him I am driving to a date and wanted to set something up this weekend. He immediately starts stammering about why don't I call him back if I still want to go out with him after I have this date (technically it was just dinner with the ex, but I was trying to appear busy). I explicitly said, I'd like to set something up with you for this weekend. He obviously wasn't listening. By the end of the conversation, I was frankly annoyed. It's like he was being so accommodating that it was manipulative. It's like he wants me to want to go out with him so much that I am going to keep calling and basically beg him. I didn't like the feeling. So, I think I'm just going to tell him I've met someone.

I am just not feeling like dealing with this.

I even started this blog about this whole dating thing last Wednesday and just couldn't finish it.

I haven't been on Match in over a week. Right now, I am kinda liking the "being alone" thing. I've been busy. I just can't get excited about meeting someone right now.

I'll keep you posted.


At 8:58 PM EDT, Blogger Alan Howard said...

If you're happy being alone, stick to it. Don't go out with guys that don't seem worth it, if you think you need to go dating simply 'cause you're single. Do things for yourself, rather than for any perceptions you think others have of you. Eg. "I better go dating 'cause my friends are telling me I shouldn't be single..." etc etc.

As for that guy, he sounds, to me, like a very insecure and manipulative person. Insecure, in that he needs your company in order to feel better about himself. Without your company, or interest in him, he feels rejected, and that's making him feel bad. Manipulative, in that he's trying to manipulate things in a way that'll get you more interested in him - or at least go out with him out of pity or obligation. They're all good enough for him, as all he's interested in, as so many others like him are, is to feel as if he's attractive and to avoid rejection.

It's a good thing you're blowing him off. Your own confidence and style of writing shows me that you would be better suited to someone who's more confident, relaxed, easy-going, and who doesn't need a girlfriend. They're not afraid of rejection, and are therefore easier to get to know and more 'forgiving' if you - or they - are too busy on occasions.

Good luck!

At 10:34 PM EDT, Blogger Kristen said...

hang in there. It is so very difficult. And those high maintenance guys are the worst. So what was up with calling you on Thursday night at 11? Who does that?

Good luck.


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