Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Update on Internet Dating

Well, I've been back on my Internet Date Website for a week now. My friend, Anne, joined the exact same day, so we have been discussing it basically every day.

A few observations after our first week.

1. Men do not read nor do they comprehend well. This match is mostly multiple choice. Yet, they fill out the answers without reading it thoroughly. One guy Anne went on a date with already had selected several races that he preferred, no one of which were Caucasian (which he is too). He didn't even read his own profile to see what he had done. One 55 year old guy winked at me this week, yet if he read my profile would know that 45 is my highest limit. 45 years old is already over 13 years older than I am -- I don't think I can go any higher.

2. People can be funny in their profiles about themselves. One guy's title is smartandrich. Some other guy has a picture of himself in a bunny suit. I have to say it keeps things amusing.

3. Many men will read your profile without doing anything. So, it's hard to say what to do about them. Are they not interested because they think you wouldn't be interested? Or did they see something they don't care for. Anne and I have taken the former stance. We look at their profile, see how the matches line up. Unless there is a significant difference in what they want and who we are, we will wink at them. I figure that if I am okay with any significant problems with their profile, they might have been afraid to wink because of my answers. However, if they have a choice which shows a preference for something different from me and they didn't wink, I figure that means they aren't interested. At least I hope that is what is happening.

4. Men can be just plain rude. They don't use the basic courtesies built into Match. I figure if I am brave enough to wink at them, the least they could do is say they aren't interested. But, it seems to be too much for them. So what happens is that I feel like I put myself on the line and they are blowing me off. If this is what happens to guys, then I understand some of their frustration with dating.

5. People have different reasons and methods for using Match. Anne paid for a one month service, whereas I paid for 3 months. So, she is intent on meeting as many men as possible during this time. She's already been on three dates and has done over 25 e-mails. I've had 9 or 10 e-mails and talked to one guy on the phone about going out this weekend. So, it's interesting to see what's happening. We are looking for slightly different things. I am looking for the "one;" she's looking for "someone." So, our different methods make sense.

I'll keep you all posted as this continues


At 11:16 AM EDT, Blogger Katya said...

agh dating hell, men are such funny creatures...i suppose the more dates you go on the more possibility of finding someone great, or trawling thru a whole lot of

and sorry about the move, i did comment on your last post to let you know, i tried to do that with everyone...

she got pissy about all the comments that were made about the post and told other friends that weren't even aware of the site, but i don't know if they'll tell hubby, so i'm being over cautious i suppose...


At 11:52 AM EDT, Blogger amy said...

I think your comments about guys and online dating is valid, though I wonder what they would say about women in the same medium if they were organized to put a list together?

At 11:59 PM EDT, Blogger Kristen said...

I have been threatening for years to write a book about my experience. What a laugh!

However I am a bridesmaid in November for a wedding. So I guess it can work. Just beware of the "carpet-bomb-email." You know, the one that is detailed but never actually addresses anything you wrote in your profile. The guy is doing the old, cut and paste.

At 8:02 AM EDT, Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Men don't comprehend well??? Is that the understatement of the year or what???!!!

(Just kidding!)

Yes indeed...keep us posted! :)


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