Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Internet Dating --- Here I go...Again!

Of course, I said after the last guy that I wasn't doing this anymore. I said no more Match.com. I've done it twice now, but of course I am not really meeting men otherwise. So, I joined again this week. So, what's the problem? I'll share my frustrations along with some of my friends who are either current or past internet daters.

1. Pictures - Why don't people put pictures on their sites? Yes, we need to know what you look like. If I feel no spark whatsoever from your photo, then I won't wink at you. Yet, it is not like I only wink at blonde, blue-eyed sun gods. I need to know if I feel a connection with you. You only have to be "hot" to me -- not to society. So what if you don't fit the stereotype? I like my men a little quirky and so do a lot of women. But, when you don't put a picture at all, then it says you are either very insecure (which is a turn off itself) or a pain in the ass (who will have to placated). Neither of these is a good first impression.

2. Filling Out the Blanks - It amazes me how guys put "Any" in so many categories. Are they too lazy to pick selections? Are they afraid to come off as snobbish or jerks? When you put "any," you are telling the world that you have no idea what you are looking for. If you put that you will date any woman between 3 feet 1 inch and 8 feet 11 inches, then you just appear lazy and/or stupid. Really you would go out with someone at either end of that spectrum? Really? I don't think so.

3. Not Reading My Profile Thoroughly - I spent a great deal of time writing my profile, being sure to be as explicit as possible about who I am and what I am looking for. I didn't make my choices lightly. So you are wasting my time if you wink at me without having examined my profile. Today some guy winked without even opening the profile (you can tell who has viewed your profile). And guess what, he has three teenage daughters (16-20). I distinctly said I was not interested in people who have children. It's not snobbish, it's accurate. I do not want to be a stepmother to someone 11 years younger than me.

4. Having a Vague Intro - So, you don't like multiple choice, well there is a place that allows you to explain who you are and what you are looking for in your own words. It's not hard. Match even gives you some assistance. For example, if we asked your best friend to describe you in three words or less, what would they say? Mine would say loyal, forthright, and funny. I put that in there. But, a few concrete items as well - my parents are still married. I want to get married. I am not looking to be "one of" but to be "the one." I am ready for a real romance -- are you? Some kind of information would help. Do you own your own home? Do you like to go to NASCAR? Whatever you like to do, a little word would be helpful.

The scary thing is some of these guys obviously have never had an introspective moment in their lives. How can they have nothing to say about themselves? Did they not learn anything from their past relationships? Is this asking too much?

I'll keep you posted on the wonderful world of internet dating.


At 4:39 PM EDT, Blogger Alan Howard said...

I met my partner (of 8 months now) via internet dating in mid-January this year. She's the woman I've been searching for my entire adult life, so I can vouch for the fact that internet dating works. It might take more than a couple of dates (it certainly did with me) and maybe even more than a couple of relationships, but you'll find her.

However, internet dating should, like everything, be used in moderation. It's only one of the many ways that you can meet people, and there's still nothing like getting out there in the real world with friends at parties, etc. They're also great places to meet new people.

I like your blog, I'll be keeping an eye on it. Cheers!

At 4:40 PM EDT, Blogger Alan Howard said...

Sorry, I said 'you'll find her'. I meant to say 'you'll find them', in order to be non-gender specific. *smile*

At 4:13 AM EDT, Blogger Ms Mac said...

Good luck!!!

At 8:33 AM EDT, Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Good luck to you Corona Red...I hope you get lots of winks to choose from (from articulate men!!!)

At 10:51 AM EDT, Blogger Grant said...

Wow. We're perfect for each other, except my parents are long since divorced and I'm not looking for romance and I'm against the concept of marriage. Otherwise, total soulmates. :p

I'm not familiar with the match site you mentioned, but if people can wink at you, can you spit back in their face? Just something to consider if they ask how to improve the site. Good luck in your quest.

At 12:09 PM EDT, Blogger Katya said...

sometimes i am so glad i'm married, there are good men out there, its just picking thru the losers to find them...lol

i'm sure you'll find a goodun soon


At 1:03 AM EDT, Blogger Alan Howard said...

Love your blog, I've added you to the links on my 'online journal' site. Keep it up!

At 10:56 AM EDT, Blogger Grant said...

Have you considered one of those dinner dating services like Eight at Eight? I don't have any experience with them, but I've heard that they try to match people better than the online services.

At 5:13 PM EDT, Blogger Katya said...

hiya, i'm moving my blog from tomorrow to




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