Corona Red Roses

I'm Quitting Smoking This Weekend

Okay, this is it. I am quitting smoking for the third and final time. I started smoking when I was about 12. However, I didn't smoke on a daily basis until I was in college. With smokers as roommates, someone was always smoking. My dad found out when I was 19 and my mom when I was 20. My sisters both smoke, as does my father.

This is the third serious attempt and the final one. The first time I quit, I used the patch and quit from June to October. I allowed myself to slide back. Working at the university, a lot of students smoked, so it was something I could use to build a connection. Plus, my best friend came in for a weekend of recovery after her breakup with this nasty boyfriend of hers. I would call it sympathy smoking. Smoking again wasn't anyone's fault but mine. Second time I quit was last year. I had Zyban for 3 months, the patch for about a month and fiddled with an on-line support group. I quit from December 2004 until June 2005 (almost 7 months). I somehow thought I could be a social smoker. I don't know what I was thinking. And my rapid descent into smoking occurred again.

But, this time there is no going back until I'm 70 years old.

Why is this time different? First, my doctor says if I don't quit before I turn 35 she is not prescribing me any more birth control pills. That's a little more than 4 years away from. Secondly, I am feeling crappy. I've gained 10 pounds since last year. I checked out the weight charts -- I was 10 pounds less at this exact time of year last year. This prescription (Zyban) is supposed to also help you lose weight. I am tired a lot. Third, it's cold outside. It's 11 degrees Fahrenheit today. Since I can't smoke in my office or my house, that puts me out in the weather and it's bitter. Fourth, I just don't want to be a smoker any more. I feel like my clothes smell, my car smells, and my breath smells. I've been coughing up a little phloem. (I know that it is disgusting, but if I can't be honest here where can I be.) I also don't feel the relaxation any more. I feel anxious about finding a place to smoke everywhere I go. It's just not worth it.

So, my official quit day is Sunday. I started my Zyban as I was supposed to. (I am a bit annoyed that the pharmacist didn't give me the booklet that I know comes with the box. Hopefully, my memory served me well.) I have the patches. I've told my family and friends. Tomorrow, I clean out the car. Wipe down the windshield and windows on the inside. I am also dropping off a ton of dry cleaning tomorrow and "febreezing" everything I wear. My sisters have quit -- one because she's pregnant. My dad is cutting back and attempting to quit.

So, please send positive vibes my way. I am always happy for more assistance.

posted by Corona Red @ 9:29 AM