Corona Red Roses

Old Boyfriends -- Just can't shake them.

Okay, so the last month, I have been a bit overwhelmed with the old boyfriends. First, there's the one who came to help me with my house (CJ). Then we have the Indiana boy who keeps texting me. And then of course Allen and W, the former who likes both genders and the latter who prefers men. I also heard from an old high school boyfriend, Joe. And the guy I like from office is coming back from the Middle East (he's in Marine reserves) and asked for my numbers. And an old student of mine who kept asking me out just send me a message through myspace. They are coming out of the woodwork.

So, first let's deal with CJ. A bit of history...we dated about 1.5 years while I was in college. We broke up for several reasons about 9 years ago when I was finishing college. He consequently quit speaking to me. He was very angry. I remember he was the only boyfriend I had who returned every single thing I had ever given him (every gift, trinket, card, etc...) when we broke up. It was strange. Well, my dad and him became great friends and they have kept in touch all these years. Him and I have not spoken at all until about 2 months ago. My dad suggested I contact him because he was coming out to VA from the midwest to help out another friend of his and would also be able to help me out with my home renovation. I hesitated and asked repeatedly if my dad was sure CJ would be interested. Dad seemed confident, so I called and we struck up a cordial relationship. When he got here to help with the renovation, we met at my place so I could show him everything. Well, we started talking and I found out the reason he quit speaking to me. It's a bit overly dramatic, but I'll share anyway.

He said that a few months after we broke up, he saw me at a wedding and didn't say hello. I do remember this wedding, but have no real recollection of anything interesting happening there. I was a bridesmaid, so I know I was there. Anyway, supposedly, I got angry (and was wasted) about him not saying hello. So, supposedly, I talked to this IRS woman there. He claims she told him that I said he beat and raped me. Now, I would NEVER ever joke or falsely accuse anyone of either of these things. They are beyond the norm -- just left field. Well, anyway, the agent decided to go after him and audited him later that year. She told him what I allegedly said and then proceeded to ream him through the audit process - cost him a good chunk of change.

Anyway, I was shocked. I can't even fathom anything like this. I would never, no matter how drunk I was, say something like that about CJ or any guy. CJ is heavily involved in women's issues, so he was deeply hurt by the accusations. I mulled this over for days and was still flabbergasted for an explanation. And basically I told him I was a bit offended that he would believe some lunatic lady when we knew each other so well. And especially, since I didn't leave him on bad terms, I had no real animosity towards him.

So, that was weird. Once we got past that (and CJ thought more objectively about it), we started talking lots. We had dinner together several nights in a row and just started hanging out. We even began to talk about how everyone was asking us what was going on and if we were getting back together. And we admitted there was chemistry between us. I just told him I thought it wasn't a good idea for us to get together. He even tried the whole "we're all adults." But, the longer we hung out, the more comfortable I became. And before I knew it, he stayed at my house for a week and a half. He is by far the best sex I've ever had - bar none. And he's sweet and he's nice. And he treats me well.

Of course, I was determined to keep this short term. And when he left, it was fine. I was actually glad to see him go -- I wanted my house back to myself so much. However, within a few days, I missed him. I missed coming home to someone, having someone to share my day. I missed his arms around me, next to me in bed. I missed the way he really listened to me and shared his life with me.

So, now we're talking -- via e-mail and phone. I have no idea what is happening here. He is not the guy I want to be the one, but what if he is. What if he is who I should be with, but I'm being stubborn, because he doesn't fit my idea of "the one." Alright, I'm making myself crazy right now.

So, CJ is the one I'm dealing with now. More on the others as they develop.

posted by Corona Red @ 8:33 PM